Trump would do this.
A cookie on my tongue, makes me feel forever young.
Think you've seen the weirdest post yet? You haven't seen the weirdest post yet. _________ "Hello, Thomas. Good to see you. Please, have a seat."...
The best burger joint in the god damn world. Excuse me for barging in like that.
Oh my God, how I've missed your witty remarks, sir LEGO. God damn autocoral.
I swear, Autocorrect, I'm going to shoot you in your goddamn nuts if you don't get out of my status updates.
Did you hear abound the New Year's railroad party? Such a trainwreck.
God no
Lifetime achievements? I once ran 65 metres in QWOP.
You might miss your dog. Or your cat. Me, I miss my Tamagotchi. R.I.P Nibbles. And Nibbles Jr. and Nibbles Jr. Jr. - and of course Frank.
In a '98 Comic-Con alleyway: "Before you shoot, you should know that I know all the cheats to GTA 2" - Before the Internet, that worked.
My hair is lovely, thank you very much!
Well, sh*t. Don't let her roast me then ;-) Oh, that's lovely. I'll come couch surf some day! I'm bathing in forgiveness!
So you let her stalk all of us here, is what you're saying? ;-) I want ALL the numbers so I can hook up some free accommodation when I go down...
Here's an idea: Dye your hair in the colors of your profile avatar before you go back to work. You'll never need to bribe anyone with candy again....
I have a number of questions: How does your mom know Shane? Why does she casually walk through your room? How do I thank her? Does she have a...
You doof.
You absolutely should! Altaïr 2.0, is a much more fitting title for you. You look like his evil twin.
How are rocket-powered pogo sticks not a thing?
Send that selfie to Ubisoft. I hear they need some inspiration for new assassin looks!
And hello to you too!
My dinner table is now a cardboard box; my bed came in a bag. My homecooked meals are take-out. After 11 moves, this feels pretty familiar.
I would. I have wanted one for years, but somehow I inexplicably keep shaving instead.
Not on Mondays. Nobody has a good hair day on a Monday.
What if I never actually left? What if I've just been creepily, quietly monitoring all of you? Seriously, thanks for the kind words. I'll never...
Oh you cheeky dog.
Eating Tuesday tacos on a Sunday like "f*ck da police."
Only on Sundays.
All these compliments, maaaan...
I think that's a story for another day ;-) or for Skyblock After Dark!
Separate names with a comma.
