Okai, hai. My name is Zambiana and I do drugs.

Time for another exquisite rewrite, I think.
Rewritten: 01/June/2016.​

Warnings should always be given and without keeper_of_flame to come around and automatically add them, I must say that this thread may contain offensive material. Caveat lector.

Hello, I’m Sean, pronounced as ‘Shaun’ by some and ‘seen’ by others—either one is fine by me, at least, I don’t really mind if you butcher my name. If you do, however, I’ll come right back and butcher yours! I have plenty of different aliases on the vast Internet, some ranging from my first name to others for various games. League has more names than I can even remember, some being odd and forgetting on purpose. I wish I could go back in time and snag the name ‘Sean’ on Minecraft and anything else that I use so I have it and no one else can claim it, but I simply cannot.

I have a lot of free time in real life and most of the time I have no idea on how I should spend it to pass time. So, for a majority of the day, I spend my time twiddling my thumbs and err, doing adult male things! Hush. I couldn’t really say what I was thinking, could I? I say that I have nothing to do, yet I have more than ten active and concurrent tasks that are dull, boring, tedious, repetitious, or any other synonym for those same words—I could go on for hours and hours describing how boring and dull my everyday life is.

Speaking of life—joy—I have a lot to say about the thing we call a life and how I see how boring mine is. I don’t care much for the future, nor do I have any ambition that’ll get me through the deep mud that is called everyday life. I’ll always go for the easy route, no questions asked, never the hard route that would pay off in the long run… I don’t want to run, so I’m avoiding that.

I have a cat, who I refuse to call a pet because she’s pretty much family, at least at this stage. Her name is so common and pathetic that I should berate the drunk me that named her all those years ago. Shadow, that’s her name and she must’ve taken it to heart because she acts and looks like one. Actually, in a sense, she acts a lot like me. Introverted, shy, suspicious of strangers. She’s pure black and she and I are alike, except for the fact that I’m not black, instead of white, white as snow. If I had grey eyes I’d look like a vampire or something. A proper vampire and not a sparkling disgrace that is Edward Cullen.

I’m currently, at the time of writing, twenty-two and I have so many issues with my head and mental illnesses that I fear they have merged and have become something far more serious. I’m the manliest man that you’ll ever meet unless I see a spider, it’s dark and I’m alone, I’m in a small and confined space, I was stupid enough to go somewhere high, I was pushed or fell into a pool and I’m currently drowning or any sort of insect is near or on me. If you ignore that plus more, then I’m the manliest person you’ll ever meet.

What else can I talk about that’s relevant to my person and not a hobby? I know! It’s impossible to offend me, unlike 99% of the Internet who spend far too much time on Tumblr and other degrading sites like Facebook and any other social media site along those lines. I deactivated my Facebook years and years ago before the Government started stealing and selling your information along to third-party business owners and the likes of such things.

There’s a lot about me that’s confusing and sometimes I come off as hypocritical, despite all that I can be the nicest person you’ll ever meet, assuming you don’t get under my skin. Like most people in life, I suffer depression and most’ve you don’t care and I know that so I don’t want people to comment on it, I don’t want to be told it’ll get better because putting false information in my head is worse than telling me than I’m a failure.

If I was a female I’d name my left breast ‘Except’ and my right ‘Tional’ and if you put the words together, you’d get what my breasts would be: a bad spelling of exceptional.

Moving on! I adore music, all except for country, jazz, blues and all that other garbage that was from before I was even born. I don’t pay homage to anything before ‘93. I prefer anything that is over one hundred and fifty BPM and is really fast that gets my blood pumping, but I’m down for rap and anything between that and hardstyle. I’ll listen to anything, honestly, even if it is garbage classical or country music. I dislike the silence—I must be loud.

As for movies, I don’t know, to be honest. I like anything horror and that can make you scared and frightened, but my inner gay wishes for drama and anything like that—I love Gossip Girl *deep breath* alright, I got that one out and nothing bad happened… perhaps I can share a few more like that? I love Hart of Dixie, Gossip Girl, Pretty Little Liars, etc. you know the types of shows that you (if you’re a girl) or your girlfriend would watch. As I said just a few paragraphs up, I’m very manly and I need a release. Too much testosterone.

Games? Oh Hello Kitty, this could be more than three thousand words just describing the games I played this year. Alright. I play League of Legends the most—like all people that aren’t living under a rock. I’m skilled at it and perfect. My peak rank was Master on NA, although I was a boosted animal and got carried into it so I tend to say that my peak rank was Diamond. It’s far too easy to win at higher ELO due to the fact that your team stops playing like monkeys and actually uses their brains and not just fap to the oversexualised females in the game. Aside from League of Losers, I play various games such as: Final Fantasy: A Real Reborn, Guild Wars 2, Black Desert Online, Total War: Warhammer, Stardew Valley, Tom Clancy’s: The Division, Battlefront 4, Battleborn, etc. I’m not naming them all by names as that’s my time that I’m wasting. I like to play video games as that’s about all that I enjoy in life. I have no idea how people lived prior to video games.

My best friend in this garbage world would have to be Tristan, who is the like other me that isn’t a gamer and only plays Call of Duty like some twelvie that screams at his mum to get the camera. I attempted to get him to play Minecraft but he simply stated that it was boring and tedious to play and learn, which I agree with. He has a trashy Xbox One that collects more dust than my Playstation 4, or as I called it, Gaystation 4. Tristan and I have been friends since we were snotty nosed little kids at the tender age of six and seven. The first time I met him I called him four-eyes and told him that he looked odd. I then proceeded to try on his glasses on get upset because the world went blurry. Over the years, he and I have had some amazing and rather bland adventures. The process of slowly making him homosexual failed and I gave up and just settled for him being my straight best friend that was even straight while drunk—go figure.

There’s not much else that I can say besides that I can be rather a*** about cleaning and hate any form of mess that’s been left there for a period of time. I refuse to make my bed and change the sheets weekly, however I haven’t ‘made’ my bed since I was around seventeen. Nobody got time fo’ that.

I wrote a poem!

There’s nothing that you cannot do,
The sky is the limit, as long as you remain true,
You’ll be one of the select few,
That ascend and become something great,
Why bother when you can stay home and masturbate?

Peace out nerds,
Love, Sean.

 

Hey Sean

 

Sup

 

Im fine baka!

 

Omg a thread from zam, hi.

 

But.. Baka means idiot.

Only quality threads by me.
I'll update it later.

 

Hello, welcome to the forums, you must clearly be new

 

Nuuuuuuuuuuuu

 

Sup

 

So spammy.

 

Err, heller der

 

Big updates.

 

G'day mate

(I have no clue why I said that >_>)

 

Sup, also please make more Skyblock art

 

Alright.

 

:Hilarious:

 

hi

 

You and I are going to be good friends... I can tell

 

Thats what I was going for xD long intro and then "hi"

 

Hi Zombiana