As some of you may know for the last few days I have been posting funny quotes on my profile. But those days are over xD This thread I dedicate to those quotes I will try once a day to add a quote to here. If I miss a day, I will make sure I go back as soon as I am online. I might add more on one day if I find some more funny ones on the same day Here it goes: January 16th 2016: During the day, I don't believe in ghosts. But during the night, I'm a little more open-minded. January 17th 2016: I really need a 6 month vacation. Twice a year. January 18th 2016: MATH: Mental Abuse To Humans January 19th 2016: There are smart phones, smart TVs and even smart cars. When will they start coming out with smart people? January 20th 2016: After Tuesday even the calendar goes WTF January 21st 2016: I'm shy at first, but I do the stupidest random s*** when I get comfortable with someone. January 22nd 2016: I can resist everything except temptation January 23rd 2016: Do not take life too seriously. You will never come out of it alive. January 24th 2016: I'm sorry. If you were right, I would agree with you January 25th 2016: "Did you fall?" "No, I attacked the floor." "Backwards?" "I'm talented" January 26th 2016: This is how my week goes. Moonnndddaaay, Tueeesssdaaay, Weeeddddnessday, Thuuuurrrsssdaaay. FridaySaturdaySunday January 27th 2016: I never run with scissors (those last 2 words are unnecessary). January 28th 2016: I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile, then walk into a pole. January 29th 2016: What do people do with all the extra time they save by saying 'k' instead of 'ok'. January 30th 2016: I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times just to be sure. February 1st 2016: On the internet you can be anything you want. It's strange that so many people chose to be stupid Be sure to give feedback if you like this
Off the top of my head: "You don't need that spine--it's just holding your back." "I'm horrible at shoplifting, it's more like quietly looting." "Ever notice half the characters in 'Happily Ever After' get royally screwed?" "An evil massage will relax you for all the wrong reasons." More (19Jan): "A bad mortician always blames the corpse." "One of my best friends just rebounded from a bungee cord accident." "I'm a mathematics teacher: I don't date around, I cut to the hypotenuse." "I'm a Narcissist with bad judgment and an identical twin. GOD HELP ME." More (20Jan): "Some of my best friends spent the winter on ice. In my basement." "Are there discounts for midget coffins? Or do you downsize the ceremony?" "I had the most wonderful dream! You and I weren't talking." "I'm a generous sadist: I buy lottery tickets and give them away with a smile." Even More (22Jan): "I named my free day care "Orphan Annie's". Was that wrong?" "My dream journal somehow turned into an E.L. James fanfiction." "Where are we going? And what's with the handbasket??" Moar (23Jan): "Good friends loan you money. Really good friends loan you kidneys." "Pop quiz: Which horror monster casts no reflection? Answer: All of them." "You're always in my dreams! Sadly, your phone number isn't." "I tell people my daughter has a glass eye. But not which one. Hours of entertainment." Zomg moar (24Jan): "My mother used to tell us she loved the kid farthest away from her. Haven't seen my mom in years." "Is it still a 'dinner date' if you're a cannibal?" "I used to end all meetings with "In accordance with the Prophecy". Really spooks people." "You are an exceptional person. In the third definition."
Random quotes out ma head: "All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a pack of chips" "A best best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have" "When I said that I cleaned my room, I really just made a path from my door to my bed"
"I hate being bipolar. It's Awesome!" "Whenever you feel alone, dim the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel alone anymore"
Oh, editing your post doesn't bump the thread. Now I'm laughing at myself for coming back and putting more on here every day. •amused•
Post a new reply in it, I believe. A new post "bumps" the thread to the top of the list again and refreshes the "age". I just discovered that editing your post doesn't put the thread back on top, it just quietly changes the contents. •amused•
