I like puns. The sillier, the better.

Here is a recent pun:
Vocaroo | Voice message

Please post all punnage here.

 

OMG... Just how... I can't, :Hilarious:

 

"Someone told me this really horrible joke"

*Laughs after saying it

 

I've heard that so many times xD

 

I can tell this thread will be pun-tacular

 

Why an a dying of laughter?

 

I said this in pledge's corny joke contest xp

 

This is what I turned the music off for xD lol

 

LMAO

 

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
“Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know you
can’t – I’ve cut your arms off!”

"Give up bandit" shouted the police.
"Don't Shoot!" Said the man to the police,
"I'm unarmed!"
The police officer stares at the man
"Where are all the others?" he asked
"They couldn't handle the pressure." the man replied.
The police offer sighed then asked "Need a hand?"
"Yes, A right one would be nice."

They say I am the only one left, but I'm all right.
If you're happy and you know it clap your-... ​

 

Oh I should probably tell a story here...

Ok so my friend doesn't find puns at all funny. So I told him 10 puns to try to make him laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

 

why like... why?

 

i found out my toaster wasn't waterproof I was shocked

 

On the subject of pirates:

Why can't pirates learn the alphabet?
Because they're stuck at C.

*Ba dum tss*

 

I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.

 

I was gonna tell a joke about gays, butt f*** it.

...I'm sorry.

 

http://i.imgur.com/K20bcgl.jpg