While this is directed at keeper_of_flame, it's mainly targeted at a general audience. I seem to express myself with rapping, whether is be freestyle or written down. I don't normally save what I write, so this will be a first. Note: I proof read it once, and it's pretty bad but it came from pure feelings, and I really don't want to change it. I may touch it up later, but eh. Ever since I was a very little lad, I always kinda knew my life would be bad, I got everything I ever wanted, besides happiness. I ran for whatever I could, Nothing I really did was good, I cried and I laughed, I hurt and I smirked. I disappointed and I praised, but really all I wanted to do was get away. Someone told me, I could be whatever, and I believed the s***. b**** was like a hit, I don't really mean to be so negative, but that's my motto, this s*** I really write, It really is my life, and I do live it. And I know some of you know this feeling, Useless and abused, it all has taken a toll. I've been feeling this s*** since I was 11 years old. Deep inside, s*** never came out. I bottled it up, held it up, fake smiles, Fake smiles, what a great disguise, no one really cared. But oh so sincere, No one could ever hear, me scream and cry and thrash at the walls. I cannot help it, it's not like I can turn it off, life is fake as f***, I cannot see through it. I don't see myself living past twenty five. I have come to accept it, I really don't want to complex it, you know me and I know you, sometimes.. I just get so sad. So sad I just want to die, cry, fly. What's the point of living? I don't like this, I see. Relapse is pretty likely, punching myself, pushing to break out, what if.. What if outside of this life, there is no strife, no war and no death. What if there was another universe where I was happy, and my brother was still alive, what if I could tell my mother, what if I could be me and no one treated me like crap. Sadness has no place in rap, I cannot rap about my feelings, and make it rhyme, maybe.. Just maybe if I give it time, we'll be like a dime. Could take my life, but then I'd feel so selfish. You kept me here, when everyone had given up, pushed me aside and wished death on me and my family. And when I hurt, I act like they don't exist. s*** doesn't make me any stronger. s*** is whack. I gotta let you know how I'm feeling, I said it, I'm sorry. Why we livin' in a hurry? Isn't it fun when we're happy and the depression is is deterred and we're laughing, smilen. Goddammit I'm worthless, I have no purpose. I really don't deserve this. Hold up, let me re-word this. I gotta keep my head up high, maybe get past this and head off to college. Could create a shitty collage and send it to you, maybe you'd hang it up on your wall, wait for me out in the hall. I spend my time procrastinating, maybe I should have published more raps, more rhymes, maybe I would have been something. With all this said, you've always been like a guardian angel, like you've been looking down at me. When I'm around you, even though it's virtual, I don't want to die. All of these has been great, Like, I don't want this time to be done, I could send you a dove, a heart anything. Just don't ever leave me. Keep watching over me, because your guidance helps me smile. With all this said, I have a few words left, maybe another verse. I'll keep that hearse waiting, instead I'll be sure to keep my chin up and wait for this to pass. Straight, this rap turned out really bad and I would have scrapped it if it wasn't full of lovey dovey feelings. With all this said, eyes away from the dead. I love you.
Because I have the right to ? It was just weird because you posted a message gere and it was saying 0 messages...
