~Warning! Some Jokes May be rude or a bit inappropriate. If the jokes are a bit too inappropriate put them in spoilers

Post Your best Joke Below!

 

A man walks into a bar, he goes to hospital.

That's not the proper joke, I think it might be

A man walks into a bar, his friends duck.

But it's better when it's the proper one (neither of the two I don't think )

 

So I recently stole and hid my girlfriend's inhaler. Now the neighbors think I'm a total stud because they keep hearing her panting around the house yelling "GIVE IT TO ME!"
It's funny because I deprived her of oxygen.

 

Science Joke:

Two men walked into a bar. The first one asks the bartender for some H2O. The second one asked for some H20 too. The second man died.

 

A man walks into a bar, OUCH!

 

H2O2 = Disinfectant or something

 

Hydrogen peroxide

 

Ok

 

Not for young viewers, mature subject.

How do you stop a girl from choking?

(Okay for young viewers):
A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."

 

Choking*

 

._. figure that out.

 

A man walks into a tavern. Upon the counter he sees a jar full of money with a label reading "Ask how to win me". He asks the barkeep how to win the jar and the barkeep says, "I have a terribly depressed Donkey. Put $5 in the jar and try to make him laugh, if you do you win the whole jar." The man nods and drops his $5 in before going out to the donkey. In a few moments he comes back in and the donkey's laughter can be heard throughout the tavern. The man takes his money and drinks though the night.

The next day he comes back and the donkey is STILL laughing, and there is another jar full of money. He asks again and the barkeep says, "I'm tired of his laugh, you gotta make him depressed again. $5 to try and if you do it you win the jar of money again." The man nods and pays the $5 and heads outside. Within 2 minutes he comes back in and the donkey is mostly silent, the occasional sob being all that was heard. As the man reaches for the jar the barkeep asks, "How did you do it? Make him laugh then cry like that?" The man smiled and replied:

 

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

The horse, unable to understand English, promptly poops on the floor and leaves.

 

xD Good jokes Guys

 

No, no, no, the joke is:

Two guys walk into a bar,
But the third one was a duck.

 

I remember watching that video! lol

 

Haha. Nice.