I can relate. Sometimes it's really easy to look at someone and think everything is alright. Sometimes it's easy to think "Oh, they're just having a rough day/week". There are few people in my real life I ever really feel I can confide in and each time I get to a really low point I cry for no reason at all, and some people get concerned. So I hide away. I keep myself secluded, from anyone who can see me. There are only three people in this world who have ever seen me cry as an adult. Two are my parents. They've seen me have panic attacks as well my uncontrolled crying. The other is my ex-gf from a few years ago. I had an episode while we were together a number of times. Needless to say, being held helps a lot when I start to randomly cry. One thing that people don't understand is that it's really hard to have someone ask what they can do to help. I don't know. I don't know how to feel better. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I need. I don't know what's wrong. I get confused and I get scared when someone says they want to help and what can they do. They just want to help. There has to be something they can do. Let's try to go outside. Maybe you should eat. Come on man, just eat something... anything... Just some water? You don't look well. Come on, gimme a smile. Stop being so depressed. Gosh, you're such a downer... Is he ok? He's just been sitting by himself in the corner. Should we say something to him? Should we leave him be? The most amazing thing I've ever heard from someone I know is just "Whatever you need, just let me know. I'm here for you". That was all they said, and then they just sat with me, watching the other people having fun. Today, I found a video that literally made me break down and cry not even a minute in. This is the most amazing video I've ever seen and some of the best words I've ever heard. It may not help to fully understand. It may not affect you at all or may not seem the right message to you. To me, it meant a lot and I'd like to share it here, as I'm hoping it'll help some people understand at least a little, at least from my end anyway.
you know nothing of depression m8. everybody is on earth for a reason. finding out the reason is the hard part.
Depression is something that is very hard to deal with. Many things have gone on in my family that made me just want to sit down and cry. I have never lost anyone to suicide, but I have lost a friend to cancer, and the another one was killed. It hurts like f*** man. Just to think you can't go and say hi to them anymore. But I believe that they are always with you, by your side, and watching over you. I learned that no matter what, suicide is never the answer, because watching your entire family cry at the sight of your dead body woukd be horrifying, more depressing than anything else. Only true friends can help you and cheer you up, and keep you going. Its sad when most "friends" are fake, two-timing a*****es who only care about your stuff, and forget who you are in a year. I don't know if this helped, but it felt good to give out my story.
Your words mean more than you can think. While we are on the topic of cancer, my dad is currently battling cancer which is why I try to keep things like this from him. So he doesn't have to worry. It's not even so much as not being able to say hi to that person anymore, but not being able to hear their voice, talk to them about your problems and more. It's the worst pain in the world. I've been to the point of wanting to die because I literally have a circle of 5 people I can actually express my feelings too but most of the time those 5 people have other things to do and I sometimes feel like I truly don't matter. I really have no purpose yet, but hopefully it comes.
I know. I am in hospital atm because I closely succeeded in suicide. It is very painful reading through all these comments when I did what I did. I am crying now all the time because I realise life without me, how my 3 friends and all my family would of felt. Gemmalove Maka_X_Soul95 @jacko I am sorry for trying it but I felt like that was the only way. In game, if you see me, please just dont say anything mean, as it hurts when I breathe, let alone cry or laugh
Eh I have a lot to be depressed about and most likely have done it all and I'm 15 lol.. I'm happy tho for what I have though... ^_^
I'm sorry you go through all this. I've been going through depression as well, it's almost won once. Some of you probably don't know how it feels to feel like s*** and extremely worthless. If you have a happy life, cherish it and the happy moments in it, cause you never know what might happen next.
Its sad to see that amazing people like you all are going through depression. Depression is honestly not a good thing to go through. Im going through it currently and it f***ing hurts. There's people who just think that people with depression are feeling down, having a terrible day, when its not like that. I've never had anyone in my family, or a friend, commit suicide, however I've had someone who died from cancer, and right now a family friend is battling through cancer. I'm always worrying if she'll survive, I'm hoping that everything will be fine, but I honestly don't know what to believe. When I first found out that she had cancer it was in the middle of the night, I cried for a while, I felt like s***, I just wanted to kill myself right there, why? She looked after me when I was younger, she always supported me, and if she passes away then I honestly don't know, the memories I have. How it feels when having depression? You wake up, wishing you could just stay in bed and cry. You want to look in the mirror and like what you see. You're hoping someone would just come and kill you. You want to hide away from everyone, you want to go into the public and not feel insecure, you don't want to go outside, you say that 'You're fine' when you're actually not, you just lie so people don't worry about you. You just want to disappear. People try helping, try supporting you, when they probably don't know what you're going through. Its hard to tell anyone that you have depression, its hard to trust them with a thing like that, you don't know if they'll tell someone, you don't know what they'll think, what if they start hating you? Yes, I've been through that. I told a friend about my depression, and what happened? She looked at me differently, she acted weird around me. The video Pein posted honestly made me cry. Everything he said in the video was amazing, the words, the actual video. Everything about it. Writing this overall makes me want to cry..
I wanted to write something clever and short here about 'thanks for sharing' or some stuff like that, but I have decided to spend some time and write somtehing else. WARNING: POSSIBLE TEARS AHEAD This world we live in, its a strange one, and sometimes I just like to stop and think about people. People, us. The crazy living organisms who walk around this little blue floating orb in the middle of nowhere where we do stuff and make things. And every single one of us, us silly little creatures, have our own lives, unique in every single way, and we have our own problems and own friends, and every single on of those friends has their own lives and problems and friends. And on, and on, and on. And somewhere in that sea of 7.5 billion people is a group of friends who play on a little server called skyblock.net (or .org, or hellblock, whatevs). And this little group of people also have their own lives and problems and friends. But, there is one difference. We share things. Because now, your problems can be my problems, your friends can be mine. We can share. Now I am no stranger to depression. My best friends father, a middle aged man with two healthy children and a wife, committed suicide 3 months ago. His family didn't even know he struggled with depression. But, one day, he decided that his life is too much to handle and took his own life. He was a wonderful man. Now, my best friend, lets just call him Bob, is struggling with depression because of his father. And he hates his dad for it. Despises him. How could his father do something like that to him? And every day I walk over to Bob's house and sit in a chair beside him with my laptop and we open up a little game called Minecraft and jump into a little group of friends on a server called skyblock.net. This is our escape. This virtual world, where you can fly around and build anything you like (as long as it's symmetrical, he's particular about that...). And this makes him and I happy. Just for a little bit, we can forget the world. I will not say Bob's IGN, mostly because he knows I'm writing this and doesn't want me to say. (Hi, Bob!). So, this little community of ours isn't ruining our brains like people think. I can connect with people from all over the world and share. Isn't that what I'm doing now? I know the destructive path of depression, I am not a stranger. But give me one thing. Please. If someone out there reading this is thinking of taking their own life, don't. Because you are one of those crazy living organisms who walks around a little blue floating orb, and you have your own life and own problems and own friends. But you don't have to face that floating blue orb alone. Because those friends I mentioned? They can help with your own problems. And those problems? Once they're gone you can reclaim your life. You can get out there and punch that weird blue floating orb thingy right in the mouth. And once that happens, you better make the most of the rest of the time you have. Because while us silly little creatures don't have long on this earth, it will feel like a lifetime. Literally. Thanks for listening. ~
I've never had any close family members. My parents and I never got along while I was growing up. I've dealt with cancer in the family, I've dealt with cancer myself. I've watched 3 family member take there last breath. Death has never bothered me. I don't get upset, I don't cry. I just remember and let go. I fell to drugs. Drugs that millions of people can break the habit of. I was lucky enough too. I've watched my family fall to these drugs. I have 13 first cousins and I only see one now on a yearly basis because the rest are to self centered to give a rats a** about our dying grandmother and I swear to you if I saw the other 12 I'd knock the s*** out of all of them for treating her that way. I've watched my best friend put a gun to his head to which I had to tackle him and wrestle the gun away because he was desperate enough to end his own life. I've watched that same friend when we were kids get the s*** beat out of him by his own father and he wasn't strong enough to fight back being he was only 13. I've been homeless. Hungry. Depressed. But I can tell you there are people who have had worse moments in their lives than me. Millions of people if not billions. I don't tell people my stories. I hold my life to myself and only those close to me. And I can swear on my life, every single one of these stories is true. I'm only 20. So let me tell you something kid, you've got a life to live. You've got a reason to be here. Whether you find that reason tomorrow or 60 years from now. You've got a reason. You just have to live to find out what it is. You'll have to suffer, you'll be in pain. You'll find happiness, and sorrow. You'll make friends and enemy's. You'll witness death, and you'll witness life. You will find yourself. You will find a reason.
