This was the most amazing introduction I have ever read. I am glad to know more about you (not in a creeper way) and I'm glad you're doing better and came back

 

Thx 2 me and cyp.

 

Feel like its time to post, and sorry if I slightly hijack it.

A lot of people compare Matilda and I, I'm not sure if it was the fact we were promoted on the same day or the fact we were complete opposites. She handled everything with such kindness and care, where-as I ruled with an ironfist and had a f*** it attitude, but it worked, of course to this day I look back at how ruthless and aggressive I was when handling moderation, while some applaud it and say they fear me that's not how I wanted people to remember me.
Sure, it got the job done and most people didn't break those rules again but it made me infamous. Whatever though lol.

I remember reading your first application and seeing a miniature me, like someone who wasn't scared to get hate for enforcing the rules, it was something the staff team needed more off. I remember you getting so much hate. Like a f***ing ridiculous amount and that's bull, it was like no one wanted a moderator, but a select few who stood by you and when you got promoted the staff team gave you s***, well I decided to raise up and train you, turn you into my prodigy. At this time the staff team was so peaceful, no drama no fights and no abuse of powers, it was amazing.

We had a few admins to ask for help, we were blessed with commands that made our job easier and we were treated like we were trusted.

 

Hi

My skype information is in the TMod section (in case you didn't have it already). Feel free to add me And that goes for all new TMods. Everyone that is a staff may add me at will for whatever reason.

Hi

Hi, Tyler

Thank you. Means a lot.

Please do, if only for a minute. ^^

I never meant for it to go this far. I imagined it going on for a couple of sentences. xd

Means a lot to hear that, since most of the time I get told I'm a horrible one.

That warmth is there, it isn't dead. But it's so supressed that it never gets a chance to really impact me. :/
One day it will regain the control, as it once did. I hope.

It's not easy. Most of the day my mind is infected by this poison. It's hard to see the people I need, not to find.
I know that the people I need are around me, but sometimes, all I can see is nothing but wretched people. This is of course wrong, and everyone here are anything but this. I just can't help it.

Thank you for your kind words. They show me the opposite of what I feel everyday.

In all honesty, I don't think I would have read anything this long either. God knows why I wrote that much.

I'll add something about you on the bottom of the post. K bb?

Then I wasn't alone.

Most of it is just what it is. Memories. It was everything I could ever have needed, and now it's nothing but a couple of clips flashing in my mind with bits and pieces of how it used to be. I miss it a lot.

For now, there is no possible way for me to let go of the past. It means too much to me and was a huge part of my life at that point, seeing as my IRL was pretty f***ing s***. Everytime I look forward I see nothing. It's as if I take one step and I would fall into an abyss. If I look back, I see what I cannot ever have again. If I look straight down I see what is the space inbetween. Chaos. My body moves forward, but my mind desperately tries to grasp onto the past.

Yes, this is the new skyblock. This is the new and dynamic staff team. I don't like it. I don't feel comfortable with it.
Please, noone, get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with any of you. You all do your very best and I love that, but it's me who just can't move on.
If I could, I would open up to all of you, as I did when I first got promoted. When I first joined the staff team.
I was an open book, ready to accept anyone and everyone.
There is now a lock on this book. The key is since long lost, and no matter how much I want to open it, I just simply can't.

You can always send me a message on Skype. Unless I'm playing League, you can be sure that I'll respond ASAP.
*CoughCypNeedsToGiveMeMySModRankPlsTyCough*

Thank you. My intention was for people to know me better, but not for it to be this long. xD
I am glad aswell.

I hope you'll get better aswell.

No worries.

I compare you two because you are the direct opposites, and you both taught me the two things I was so much in need of.

I never really was someone to take control in anything. I remained passive and did what I was told.
This, unfortunately, smudged off on my real life handling of pretty much everything.
Whether it was a party, a gettogether, a birthday or anything that had to do with me interacting with others, I just tried to stay invisible. I got pushed around.

What you provided me was greater than anything anyone could buy. You learned me to stand up for myself and to take matters in my own hands. Personally, I don't think you could have done anything better at that time for me. The ironfist, you so nicely put it, was completely strange to me, but it was what I was in need of.
I go by this today.

I owe you for this. You are one of the few people I still look up to.

We had all the help we needed, and more.
We were treated as we were trusted precisely because we were trusted.

 

Hi big brothah XD your my inspiration!

 

Hi
I'm just happy I don't influence you the way many people tell me.

 

Dont lie to me set an example big brothah im a little kid!

 

Brah np :3 anytime~ LOL you and soph are gonna be togetha foreva :3 ^-^ hey you helped me many times over and krill you're fun to chat with and UR ACCENT. now... when i visit sweden.. i swear to god... don't you dare leave me with the rapists AGAIN. i mean what... xD but yeah lovely intro :3

 

No promises...

 

Krill, I love you man. You were always one of the greatest additions to the team. I recall talking you up when you were feeling down a few days, but you know what? You were simply remembering things that I as mentioning. You have a lust for the good in life all you need to do is keep striving for it regardless of what gets thrown at you. You say you're cold-hearted, but what I see from you isn't that. I see someone withdrawn from the world to keep them self safe. You're a nice, fun loving, considerate guy, just open up the blinds and let some friggin sunshine in ya bish!

In all seriousness though, I'm glad you shared this with all of us and I'm glad you can find so many fond memories of friends. I'm always around on Skype and such if you need me, and I'm not above swapping contact info with you if needed, though I'm not sure if my cell coverage allows calls/texts to your home for no extra charge. XD But deffinately always Skype. ~_^

 

I remember that aswell. I was at the verge of a breakdown at that point. The only thing that kept me from it was the memories I had.
Whether you're right or wrong regarding my withdrawal, I do not know. It might be. But if it is, there is no way I'm opening them yet.

I know, man. It's good. You should totally send me a pocketdial call to Sweden

 

"Little"
Nice intro ;P

 

well, i read a tad bit

 

i cri evrytiem

 

I read through that all. Normally, I'm pretty lazy or stubborn to finish reading things, but I fondly remember spending a lot of time with you.

i cri erytim ... but seriously, I suddenly feel emotionally connected to your story, because it's (although the events are different) basically the same as my own.
Though I will add that I made some incredibly stupid and huge mistakes along the way.
^ why don't I go ahead and make some thread about this now too ... since I noticed a lot of people that I used to talk to are actually back online here

MATILDA TOO STRONK ... I saw Matilda as like a totem of love. I guess I wasn't the only one that felt that aura, even if she wasn't physically near me. I never talked enough to Zambiana tho ... something about his personal authority just felt hostile to me or something, so I was kind of scared, lol. Good memories nonetheless. Maybe we should talk about what's happened since I've been gone, and reflect on the past.

Also, Patricia, do international studies at my school. There's so many Swedish people there already, and your English is 9001% superior to theirs. You'll like it here near Venice Beach too, yo. The people there are legit 420 hippie all day, and they're so chill xD.
LA got dat young nitelife doe.

 

*cough* "A little bit..."

 

Yus, Peruvian's Rule

I mean, Hi c:

 

patrick starr? also, ease on the language, mate.

 

I remember a lot about our time on the staff server and a lot of other s*** aswell xD

The only mistake I made was to tell myself that nothing was wrong at the time.

Tiddy 2 op.
Zambiana stop scaring people

I'm not sure, mayne.
It's between my girlfriend moving over to Sweden (because she wants to move to Sweden) and I study here, moving over to my uncle and cousin in Connecticut (and bringing my girlfriend with me, of course) and studying in LA (with girlfriend lool). :L

Yeah, most swedes suck a** at English.
I know three other people who are actually as good as myself.

Ye

Haha

Not Patrick Star.
I am well aware of my language, and with all due respect, no. I will not ease on my usage of it in this thread.