Make like a tree and
get out of here

 

7

 

Did you know that diarreha is hereditary?
It runs in your jeans.

 

Ahh some of these remind me of my childhood

 

You cat to be kitten me right meow.

 

So a Slicer (Amarrian racial frigate) just warps into an asteroid field, and this Firetail (Minmatar racial frigate) passes him by at 500 m/s.

The slicer pilot gets angry and starts speeding up, and soon passes the Firetail at 750 m/s.

The firetail then then passes the slicer at 900 m/s, and the pilot shouts: "YOU KNOW MINMATAR?" (Skills to fly racial ships can be learned by anyone regardless of race)

The slicer pilot is FURIOUS! speeding up, he passed the firetail at 1,100 m/s.

The firetail then passed the slicer again at 1,400 m/s, the pilot shouts again: "YOU KNOW MINMATAR?"

The slicer pilot gets REAL MAD. he passes the firetail at 1,600 m/s.

The firetail passes the slicer again at 2,000 m/s.

The slicer pilot pushes to Full Speed, hitting 2,000m/s, flying alongside the firetail.

The firetail pilot shouts again: "YOU KNOW MINMATAR?"

The slicer pilot shouts: "YES! I DO!"

Then the firetail pilot shouts:
"WHERE ARE THE BRAKES?!?!"

(Minmatar are know to have or use mostly old, outdated or relic technology and to that effect, most of their ships look like an explosion in a girder factory; jokes are rampant about their ships being bound together with nothing more but rust, stolen/modified parts bits and pieces, and miles of, uh, duct tape.

 

What do u call Postman Pat when he retires?

Pat

Thats the best joke I have lol

 

How did the kid fall off the slide?

There was no slide. <:

 

I should become a gardener, cause thyme is money.

 

What do you call a sphere full of idiots? The earth.

 

You know what? Read this. The punchline is so worth it: The Longest Joke in the World

 

How did you even care to read that. You must constantly read fanfictions or something, that's too long.

 

(looks left) (looks right) (sadly closes my a03 tabs)

Besides that, the joke is actually a personality test, too.

"Those in the second group, who scroll to the end before reading more than a few sentences of the joke [or none at all], tend to avoid surprises and the unknown.[...]They tend to be efficient, but are often lacking in enjoyment, spontaneity and passion. They tend to be less patient and more interested in the destination than the journey. [...] This group’s ability to enjoy depends largely on their need to know what is going to happen. [...] "

 

k

 

This was worth the 30 minutes. I'm still laughing.

 

Never tell a pun to a kleptomaniac because they always take things literally.

 

That pick-up line tho.