Figured it was about time I explained where I've been. If you don't know who I am; - Org full mod. - Was the most active mod for months, ranging from 8-12 hours a day. - I am also 23. ---------------------------------------- I have issues. I have a lot of issues. I've been through things that no one ever should, which has left me with the scars to match. I have PTSD, Major Depression, Anxiety and suicidal tendencies. Org was my release. Org was where I went when I was down. Org kept me sane. But during my last few weeks of playing, things for worse for me on Org. I won't say names, but I had a fallen out with someone dear to me. ( No it's not my ex who use to play. ) The falling out made me uncomfortable on the server. Yes, we tried many times to fix things, but it always failed. I am an emotional person. Every time I got on, and this other person was, I'm not going to lie, I'd cry. I'd blame everything on myself. But over time, Org stopped being a release for me, and I was more scared to get on than anything. So I took a few months away. Figured I'd gather myself, help myself first before I could help others. I moved home, where it was safer for me. I got a job. I made new friends. Then I decided I'd try coming back. ...But some people had other thoughts for me. They didn't care WHY I left, because it wasn't their place to know. They just cared that I left, and would stop at nothing to get me demoted for it. I use to come back to messages of people missing me, but now it's just deleted posts saying I should be demoted. I come back to find out pictures of me, which shouldn't be seen by children, had been leaked. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm 23, I'm free to do with my body as I please, but for them to be shown to children out of spite? That's not something I'd ever wish for upon anyone. This being said, I'm not sure if I'll come back, I try, some days look better than others for me. But for the most part I've been working my butt off trying to save myself first. ------------ I hope at least some of you can understand that this is hard for me to share, and I just hope the people that mattered to me understand why I up and left them. Sega_inc SakuraWolf kaybubs Kira_
I went through stuff like this recently, and boy it is hard to get over the steep hill known as depression. It's going to be alright soon, trust me. If you want to talk, just pm me
I admire you for sharing this. You're brave, you're strong, and I really do hope that things take a turn for the better for you.
im just saying but you should've resigned if you planned on taking a few months off because i don't think it's fair to the players that you left without an explanation, with them needing active staff; and i don't think it's fair to applicants that you were taking up a spot on the staff team without contributing to it even though they could've. it's not like cypriot wouldn't understand and let you resign and then give you your rank back when you were ready to return. you had other choices, but the one you made left players with a darn good reason to want you demoted. not saying some of the things weren't uncalled for, but them wanting you demoted is reasonable.
Except, I've spoken with Cyp about the matter before. It's not like I'm "stealing a spot" he knew the situation, and if he felt the need could have demoted me, or promoted another. Let's be real, look at Org, it's just basically me and sega left, if they needed more mods with the 1-3 people active at a time, he'd promote more. I do apologize for leaving everyone though, it wasn't fair of me. But I had to put myself first, it didn't start off like I quit completely. I just started getting on less and less, until it was completely gone. I didn't realize I was going to be gone for so long. But when I did, as I said, Cyp was aware of it.
You're extremely brave for sharing this. Don't feel pressured to come back to to the server too quickly, come back when you're ready and feel better. Get well soon, you can push through this.
GeoSkye , I personally don't know you, but I understand what you are going through, given the fact that I kinda have Bipolar which makes me VERY moody / depressed... Anyways, feel free to come back whenever you feel like it - Cos
I completely understand this. When I was 8, I started to suffer from an undiagnosed pain syndrome. I'm 13 now. I became extremely depressed, I suffer from anxiety, I become very suicidal, and I am waiting for a diagnosis for a condition that is very likely ADHD. Net was the only thing that could help. it doesn't help as much any more. I still love it, and wouldn't leave the server even if I had to have my legs cut off because of it. I really really really really hope that you can feel better in any way possible. Laini
