because he is an excellent liar and can be in two places at once because he is a spooky ghost that can teleport mum, why did dad shoot up a corner store
Because he is likes the other wife more than me.. :c Mommy, Why does Daddy play on the X-Box mpre than he plays with me?
Well, you see son... When I was younger, your father tricked me into marrying him with lots of money and... alcohol. I made some very bad decisions and ended up becoming his wife. Then, after more tricks from your blasted father, we ended up having 17 children, but only one of them lived: you. Right after you were born, something terrible happened and your father was rendered infertile. However, it was your father's dream all along to have a daughter (related by blood of course) such that she would be able to take over his gangs and drug businesses... He did not want to trust a son with his life's work, because he was of the opinion that a son would be too easily tempted by the drugs and gangs and whatnot, and would end up ruining both of them. Once he realized that he would be doomed with, well, you, he looked for other, how should I say, unorthodox ways to get himself a daughter. First, he arranged a bank heist and stole $1,000,000,000--which he used to buy the most expensive but miraculous surgeries on the planet. When this did not work, he stole another $1,000,000,000 from a bank and donated it to different churches, then prayed to God many times to see if he would become fertile again. That did not work either. As a result, your father turned to several solutions offered by the different occult groups in our area. At the first one he joined, he was nearly burned to a stake as a sacrifice for Satan, however he realized what was going on in the nick of time. After this experience, he was much more careful with regards to which occult groups he joined; however, at the second occult he joined, after a year of getting him to lower his guard, he was betrayed and almost sacrificed to Satan a second time. He ended up chewing off his own hand such that he could escape. Consequently, he stole another $1,000,000, gathered best surgeons in the world, and got a new hand. Shortly thereafter, done with occult groups by that point, your father was left grasping at straws--even literally: one website stated that he would become fertile again by building a giant fertility clinic out of straws. However, while building this, he sneezed and blew it down, so he gave up. More of his foolish attempts include (but are not limited to) going on a hunt for lucky items--such as rabbit feet, four-leaf-clovers, pots of gold at the end of rainbows, and more. It was only after all of these fruitless attempts that he gave up, surrendering to the fact that he would have to use you, son, as his heir. He cried for 100 nights and 100 days until he was finally able to accept it. That was when he started to train you. Yet, sixty-nine days into your training, your father got a letter that reminded him of something crucial: he once donated to a fertility clinic. The letter stated that clinic would give your father his donation back on the condition that he joined FaZe. So, happy that he could finally ditch you and have another chance at getting a daughter, your father joined FaZe. That, my son, is why. _____ (lol) ______ Mommy, where do babies come from?
Because he spends too much time on the computer with no life and loving 12 year old girls instead of me. Mommy? Why did dad slap me in the face then called me his little princess?
