Rest in Peace "Old Friend"

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Darkchyldeone, May 11, 2014.

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  1. Darkchyldeone
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    Darkchyldeone Experienced Member

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    The Death Of Common Sense
    12-13-10

    Obituary

    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
    He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

    - Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
    - Why the early bird gets the worm;
    - Life isn't always fair; and
    - Maybe it was my fault..

    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

    It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

    Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

    Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

    Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

    He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers:
    I Know My Rights
    I Want It Now
    Someone Else Is To Blame
    I'm A Victim

    Not many attended his funeral because
    so few realized he was gone..
    If you still remember him, rate this well.
    If not, join the majority and do nothing.​
     
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  2. Edward Ray
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    Edward Ray Member

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  3. Malfoyesque
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    Malfoyesque Active Member

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  4. Lukenblaz
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    Lukenblaz Well-Known Member

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    Only in America. He lives on in other countries.
     
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  5. a99Bomb99
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    a99Bomb99 Active Member

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    Does Texas count as another country because it used to be one? :t
     
  6. hallowground
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    hallowground Member

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    *Face-Desk
     
  7. keeper_of_flame
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    keeper_of_flame Experienced Member

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    Common Sense, I knew thee well. ;-; You will live on in the hearts of all those who know that when you're cold, you can put a sweater on. :heart:
     
  8. Hoecobo
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    Hoecobo Senior Member

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    Not a horrible passing. This guy never seemed to help me anyways.
     
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  9. sidiscool
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    sidiscool Active Member

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    We must live on for Common Sense, and do what he did.
     
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  10. RachetSenpai
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    RachetSenpai Experienced Member

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    ^^What he said.
     
  11. sidebooch
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    sidebooch Well-Known Member

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