Bad Staff Applications

This is similar to the thread bad bad appeals (Bad Ban Appeals | Skyblock Forums) so the same rules apply. People apply for staff a lot and some of their applications have ridiculous answers. Here you can post funny staff applications.
You can use the template below(or not to make it worse):
Your in-game name:
How old are you?
What timezone are you in?
What country do you live in?
What languages do you speak?
Have you ever been banned? (if yes, why?)
Why do you think you should be a mod?
What qualifications do you have?
How long can you be active on the server everyday?
How long have you been playing skyblock.org?
Do you have any past experience as a moderator?

Here is an example:

 

Your in-game name: Chuck Norris
How old are you? ∞ years old
What timezone are you in? all of them
What country do you live in? all of them
What languages do you speak? all of them
Have you ever been banned? (if yes, why?) No. One server tried, but after a very lengthy ban appeal and much apologizing I let the server be unbanned with only a warning and a roundhouse kick.
Why do you think you should be a mod? Because I said so
What qualifications do you have? Being Chuck Norris
How long can you be active on the server everyday? ∞ hours a day
How long have you been playing skyblock? since before the dawn of time
Do you have any past experience as a moderator? yes. all of them