I'm just so lost lately..

I'm so depressed, but, I've been doing my best to hide it. Everyone sees to think I'm this perfect person, yet I'm anything but. I feel like a scared little kid, not the grown woman that I am. I miss my Mom, and my old house and most nights, just cry and want to go home, but I can't. Its just an empty husk, nothing more than a discarded, broken shell. It all hurts so much, and I just throw myself into minecraft and the servers to distract myself, but I only end up making poor choices. I don't know what to do, and the one person I used to talk the most with has removed me from his skype and won't return any of my messages anywhere.. I'm just so lost. I know I'm supposed to be the strong one, but I can't do it anymore. I just want to hide under the covers forever and hope the world forgets me. I'm a 33yr old Failure.. No car, no life, a dead-end job, I still live with a parent.. What good am I to the world..? You guys don't need me.. I bring nothing of value to the team.. I just don't know what to do anymore..

 

We're here for you Darkie...

 

And WE DO NEED YOU. You're one of the most amazing people I have ever met. Please, cheer up

 

You can talk to me whenever you like, we're all here for you

 

Darkie omg you're amazing You're likee all of our mommy's Seriouslyy we all love youu. I know we don't talk much but you're a fantastic moderator, and everyone would like die if you left the staff team ;-;

 

Darkie, I love you so much. When we talk on teamspeak, you always bring a smile to my face. When people ask me "Do you know Darkie?" I feel honored to respond, saying how amazing of a person you are and how grateful I am for meeting you. Don't you dare think of yourself as a failure because your appearance here as well as your position is valued to all of us. Thank you for being here. You're like a mother to most of us. Bless you, girl.

 

Darkie your amazing don't cut yourself short. Your always there for me when I need it just know I am here if you need anything

 

Thanks.. I'm just so lost lately and, more and more I've been finding excuses not to go in MC, because I didn't want anyone to notice I wasn't what they expected me to be.. Not that I'm making any sense..

 

We're here for you Darkie! If you are depressed, take a short break.

 

I don't even know what to write that hasn't already been said
If my coming to you about how to resign didn't indicate my feelings towards you, I don't know what will
We're always here for you <#

 

You are an amazing person even if you don't know it You are worth a whole a lot more then nothing not just in MC but everywhere in life. You may not feel like you are accomplishing anything in life right now. Lots of people are where you are or have been. If you keep on just taking life day to day chances are something amazing will happen. You can't look at your whole life as one big failure. Take life one day at a time it doesn't matter how well your doing financially or how well you are doing at your job. You are a great person no matter how worthless you feel. Im not saying there is a silver lining to everything, but there will be at some point just make it through today and don't worry about tomorrow or yesterday. If you ever need someone to talk to or just vent you can PM me on here or you have my Skype. Stop worrying about others and focus on yourself every now and then. Save some time for yourself do what you want to do. Don't worry about skyblock or anything like that. We understand you need time off after all your only human. Try to make your day as enjoyable as possible and then focus on making others days as enjoyable as possible. Remember you are worth a whole lot more then you think.

 

The majority of us suffer from some sort of depression here. You're a wonderful person, and you really should know this. PM me of you ever need to talk.

 

You have my Skype, I'm always here. You're one of my role models, don't call yourself a failure like that

 

S'okay. I know what's going to make you feel better. (How did I forget to do this earlier? )

Let's do the fork in the garbage disposal!

Believe in the yes. The yes can cure everything.

 

Darkie. I have three words for you (and then a message). What the f***?

You may think you're not a grown woman, but you are. You miss your mother and your old house, it is normal to be home sick. That you cry about it is another thing, however, you can get over it. The one who removed you on Skype is just a douche, ignore him. "33yr failure" Explain to me, what do you mean "failure". The fact that you have no car, "no life" (I never understand this sentence, if you wouldn't have a life, you'd be dead, right? Equals, you do have a life), still live with a parent. Well, I see nothing wrong with the "reasons" you call yourself a "failure" to be anything more then a normal thing in life. Not everyone has money to pay for the car or a good job to pay for an apartment, the time will come eventually. "What good am I to the world?" I've asked myself this so many times and I bet, so has many others, yet I haven't found an answer but I don't mind it, just do what you want and feel for and there you have your answer.

Don't let yourself down Darkie. Be proud for who you are even though it seems like you're nothing, you still are something for the players and your friends.

EDIT.

Yes Man - Jim Carrey

 

I'm not good at answering or talking when others have issues, even though they're almost the same as mine.

All I can say is; don't leave the team.
Not a lot of things matter in this world, I know. I've noticed.
Success is different from one another, but for me; it's knowing that I am someone people look up to.
For me, success is meaning something good for someone else.

When Matilda left, I was a bit chocked.
The one to keep us together was nowhere found and from that point it started to crumble.
The team started to crumble.

Then you came along and filled in the spot.
Truth be said, it wasn't the same as before, but it felt really good to have someone to do what was lacking.
You are to most of the staffmembers here, what Matilda was to me, and the older staff.

You are one of the last people that can even be considered to leave, IMO.
I knew it would go to hell after I left, but it sure would go to absolute s*** if you did.
You mean a lot to the people here. That, for me, is something to cherish.
When I feel the most s***, I think of what people said about me.
I hear people say that I was the best mod this server has ever had. It's a huge pride.
You should take in what people say about you: that you are the kindest person this server has ever had.

It helps me a lot, and it might help you too.

 

Warning: adult language and themes


Omg, LOL! I can remember back when Ally found this, she had everyone hysterical when she'd try to Sing along. Such good times.

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Tubey, Krill Thank you so much, it really does mean a lot to me.

And thank you to everyone else, Guess we know Darkie isn't perfect lol. Oh well its getting overrated ^~

 

I put my input in on the staff section.
Love you

 

I love you too, hun. You're like a little brother to me.