Corrupt-A-Wish

Granted, enjoy your new ferrari bicycle Ferrari Bike SF01 Limited Edition Giallo Modena Man | Scuderia Ferrari Official Store
I wish for good wifi

 

Honestly, that Ferrari bicycle is 20 grand. I would sell it and buy a BMW or something if I also splashed some cash of my own. Also why does the title of this thread remind me of a Pick ‘n’ mix? Anywho:

Granted. Although the good wi-fi is so good that it causes 5 minute long power cuts every 10 minutes.

I wish for a decent nights sleep.

 

Granted, but then you can't sleep for the next two nights.

I wish for more cheezits

 

Granted, but the cheese powder is literal cheese, not powder.

I wish to be as relaxed as a stoner

 

You're wish is granted, but whenever you are relaxed as a stoner, you are completely immobile.

I wish to be taller than 6 feet.

 

Granted, but all limbs of your body are half the average size for your age.

I wish to have perfect hearing, as I’ve had hearing operations all my life and im sick of them

 

Granted, but you can only hear things that you don't want to. So during conversations you can hear everything but the person you're talking to.

I wish to have my perfect vision back, glasses are expensive and everythings blurry now

 

Granted, but you will become colorblind.

I wish I have creative mind to build something

 

Granted, but you are only friends with creepers that blow up when they see you.

I wish to get straight A's for all my exams.

 

Granted, but everyone else will think you cheated every one of your exams.

I wish to meet my favourite movie heroes

 

Granted, but they'll injure you when they think you're a villain.

I wish for skytitan.

 

Granted, but it’s glitched and gives you skyknight kit.

I wish to be the richest man alive

 

Granted, but you get robbed and become the 5th poorest alive.

I wish to have mc on switch.

 

Granted, but it’s only Minecraft Lite (if you know what that is from the old days).

I wish to be able to buy toilet paper from the supermarket without corona messing everything up.

 

(So poor that one small donation of 5 cents would boost him up maybe 100 million places?)

Granted, but you can only play singleplayer.

I wish all my homework to be done for me. Screw that bullcrap, I don't wanna be writing about how The Church of Corrupt Politicians can suck the queen's toes

 

oh since you did Pil's I'll do yours. Granted, but the toilet paper is sandpaper

 

Granted, but the length of your school day increases by 3 hours.

I wish for the modern warfare season to be extended as I’m only tier 11.

 

Granted, But it'll set you back 5 teirs after the extension.

I wish for forums premium.

 

granted but you only get the coloured name... no perks

I wish for a computer with no god damn problems

 

Granted, but it’s only the one month long one and it’s brown.

I wish that the coronavirus goes away so I can go to the Findings concert in Oslo in August

Edit:

As you did Pil’s, I’ll do yours.
Granted, but a nuclear bomb hits your house and blows up the computer. (Sorry I really couldn’t think of anything else).